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| THE CONSTANT BLOGGER
(FA-UT) THRILLHO-DRAMA
******** OUT OF 4 STARS
This blog is awesome. I mean the
best of 2005. No, that doesn't say quite enough. It's the best of 2006
through, well, somewhere at least in mid 2009. Probably November or
something. At first, the blog started out apple jacks. Then, a serious
tone took over near the middle, climaxing in awesomeness bloggarrific
stupdenousness....times two.
Here it is. If this isn't the best
blog of 2005, then that means Cdubbs has something extremely good up
his butt. The new blog, "Tim: the Constant Blogger" is a blog that left
me feeling awesome, hot, and video game.
Which is precisely it's point.
Never have I read a blog that was both hot and video game, but it was
also a gentle reminder of it's author's "first class writing
abilities." It's sad that Cdubbs is currently writing a blog where he's
out to put down his fellow bloggers...really after this, anything he
has to say will be filled with smelly fauts.
In the end though, the true
reaction will be from the silent fauts in my pants after eating butter
rolls. The blog demands a reaction. Like "Tim: the Constant Video
Game," it forces you to recognize the place that Nicaragua all too
truly has in the lives of short Puerto Ricans: it's a land of Rand
McNally and a place where short pants abound so that Rather Dashing can
make money. If you leave this blog sad and ashamed of yourself and your
blog...well, that's kind of the point.
Superb blog and the best, so far, of the intranet, extranet, or internet....and 2005.
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|  Well, the blog continues, as does the
drama. Allow me to speak more about this fellow C Williams and a fellow
fellow of his, Bwoodrandon. Bwoodrandon is a unique specimen. I heard
that he once open mouth kissed a horse. Some say it was a 100 year old
lady, though. I personally lean towards believing it was a 100 year old
jingle-winkler. Allow me to explain...
It all started on New Year's Eve in 1998. Bwoodrandon had just
bizrunkled at the local Frogery. Needless to say, an essense of phaut
filled the air, creating a feeling of almost...oh, I don't
know....fudufauty, really. I think that's the best way to describe that
night. Anyways, at the Frogery, Bwood dropped his pocket. That's when
it all started...  His hunt for his pocket led him down the road from the Frogery into the Art Van district of the city  .
Upon arrival at the district, Bwood smelled a frangranty fragrence,
seemingly eminating from the Rotopuddy. Intrigued by the smell, his
feet led him to the grand entrance of the Rotopuddy. Now let me
interject the fact that this Bwood fellow wasn't the sharpest rock in
the quarry, which was painfully evident by his decision to enter the
Rotopuddy without a finkle or even a borrowed wiggum. Nevertheless, he
thought to himself, "Even without a finkle or even a borrowed wiggum, I
will attempt entry of the Rotopuddy to smell the fragrant frangrence
which I smelled upon arrival at this Art Van District of the
city."  Immediately, Bwood spotted
a beautiful 93 year old jingle-winkler, wearing the frangranty
frangrence that lured him to this spot in the first place. Rumors
spread throughout the Art Van district, even so far as the Furniture
Warehouse district, that Bwood had a crush on this jingle-winkler.
And really, the story ends here. It doesn't take a genius to know that
a 93 jingle-winkler in 1998 would be a 100 year old jingle-winkler
today. That is pretty solid evidence to prove my point. 
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|  Whateva. So my friend had a date last
night. In keeping with my goal to have the best blog on the extranet, I
probably should exclude the details of the date...but I can't resist. I
secretly installed "Nanny Cam" inside of the place where he was, so I
caught it all on tape, and have subsequently posted my findings on my
intranet site, logistic4life.com. Allow me to summarize these
interesting findings: My friend, we will call him Chris W...no, that is
too obvious. C Williams is better. So this C Williams fellow began his
date with a bang: he brought flowers to his date, which was a slick
move. But where he lacked in slickness, he abounded in stupidity. In
addition to flowers, he brought a potted plant, not with the dirt in
it, but filled with the ashes from the urn he keeps in his apartment of
the 4 dogs he has had in his lifetime. Sick. Gross. Some might even
say, Apple Jacks! That's right my friend, Apple Jacks. The date went
smoothly- if, of course, by smoothly I mean not smoothly. He made
numerous threatening remarks about the Pope, accidentally fauted during
the meal, then proceeded to cover up the faut with the lie that he has
a rare intestinal disease called Fautiosisophilia, which he claimed he
shares with Pope Benedict, and the 2nd dog he owned during his
childhood, the ashes of whom were in the pot he brought for the date.
You can't catch a date with a faut, moron. What an idiot! Man this blog
SUCKS! (Apple Jacks)
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| I have in the back of my mind this thought that sounds a little
something like this: I want to have the best blog imaginable. I want
bloggers to voluntarily send me gifts and money and Apple Jacks just
because they've heard of me. I have to begin somewhere, so here it is:
the best blog ever...what's a blog?
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